Beyond Repair
by Wammy's House Dropout
Summary: Kisame can't begin to comprehend just how deeply his partner has been broken. /KisaIta, ShisuIta/-Sequel to Broken Things-
1. Insecure

**Welcome to** _ **Beyond Repair,**_ **the sequel to** _ **Broken Things**_ **that nobody asked for! Reading _Broken Things_ isn't required, but maybe skimming it would help this story make more sense.**

 **Rated M for sexy situations and occasional violence.**

 **WARNING: This fic features scenes of child sexual abuse, occasions of incest, and graphic depictions of terminal illness. Viewer discretion is advised.**

 **DISCLAIMER:** _ **Naruto**_ **is property of Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release!**

 _ **SPOILERS: Contains spoilers for the whole manga, and for the Itachi Shinden**_ **novels** **.** _ **You have been warned!**_

 **Misc: Jumps from current events to flashbacks will be represented by this symbol:**

 **~oOo~**

 **Jumps between events in the current timeline will be represented with a line break like so:**

* * *

 **With all that out of the way, please enjoy, and leave a review if you'd like!**

 **~oOo~**

A blood red sun peers out behind heavy clouds, casting an eerie light on the endless battlefield. It seems much like an apocalyptic wasteland; the ground broken, buildings leveled, smoke rising from the smoldering remains of fires. The air is heavy with ash and the incessant moans of the dying.

Uchiha Fugaku leads his young son through the devastation. The child grips the hem of his father's shirt, large dark eyes surveying the area.

A man bearing the Uchiha crest reaches out toward him. Blood gurgles from his throat, then his arm falls uselessly to the ground. Itachi recoils in horror, whimpering in fright.

Fugaku regards his child with a stern expression- though his eyes betray a hint of pity.

"I know it's hard to look at," he says, placing a rough hand on the boy's shoulder. "But this is what war is, Itachi. As an Uchiha, you must be strong enough to face it."

Itachi turns his pale face toward the sky, watching flocks of crows descend to feed on the bodies.

A deep sadness fills him, but he doesn't cry.

"Our clan has been fighting for its entire history," Fugaku continues, a deep reverence in his voice. "It's a long history- and a proud one. Our clan has held strong for centuries, even with all this."

Itachi nods to please his father, still surveying the carnage around him.

 _But why?_ He thinks forlornly. _Why do we need to fight? It doesn't make any sense…_

Fugaku crouches down to Itachi's height, heaving a great sigh.

"The village doesn't trust our clan," he says, eyes downcast as though admitting it was shameful. "They're happy to send us to fight their battles, but they don't trust us with anything beyond that. That's what it means to be an Uchiha in this world. I need you to understand this so you can protect yourself. The last thing I want-"

The man grips his son's skinny shoulders as if he very much wants to hug him, but is afraid to do so. Itachi senses the waver in his father's voice, the desperation with which he spoke.

Father is worried.

"- The last thing I want is for you to end up like these soldiers out here."

"Captain!"

A fellow Uchiha looks rather horrified as he rushes up to his superior.

"Captain- with all due respect, is this really a place for a child?" He asks warily. "He'll get frightened…"

"I-I'm fine," Itachi states, with as much strength as he can muster. He forces a smile onto his cherubic face and turns back to his father.

"I'm gonna be Hokage," he says firmly, with a determination only a small child can possess.

"Huh?"

Both Fugaku and the young soldier look at him, startled.

"I'm gonna be Hokage and change everything!" Itachi declares. "I'll make it so the village trusts us again!"

When his words set in, Fugaku lets out a loud, barking laugh. He ruffles Itachi's hair and beams with pride.

"That's my boy!" He chuckles, standing back up and dusting off his pants.

 **~oOo~**

Amegakure's perpetual rainfall greets Itachi and Kisame like a gloomy old friend, welcoming them back under the watchful eye of their leader.

"Home sweet home, eh, Itachi-san?" Kisame grins, baring all his sharp teeth at his partner.

Itachi says nothing, but his black eyes portray a hint of that happy light that so intoxicated Kisame.

Home. Their home. There was something wonderful about that.

A handful of children run through the streets- a few girls sit on park benches folding origami.

When they spot the men in their Akatsuki cloaks, they cease their activity, awestruck by these disciples of their god.

A little girl stands and scampers over to them. She keeps her little blonde head downcast as she presents Itachi with a small paper crane.

"W-welcome back," she squeaks.

Itachi takes the delicate origami bird, smiling gently at the child.

"Thank you, it's very nice."

The girl brightens up, breaking out in a broad grin that revealed her missing front tooth.

Itachi pats her on the head, and waves at the rest of her friends as he and Kisame walk past.

"Do you like kids, Itachi-san?" Kisame asks.

Itachi fiddles with the small paper crane.

"I guess I do," he replies, with a small shrug. He offers no further conversation, so Kisame lets them lapse back into a companionable silence.

They're accosted the moment they enter Akatsuki headquarters.

"About fucking time you bastards came back!" Hidan bellows. "Holy hell have things been dull around here with you assholes gone! Nothin' but Dei and Sasori bickering and fuckin' Kakuzu bein' a total dick!"

He leans in close to Kisame, invading his personal space far more than he'd like.

"So-" Hidan's voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper- "Dija guys fuck or what?"

Kisame splutters in disbelief. Itachi's pale face turns a startling shade of vermillion. He clamps a delicate hand over his mouth to stifle a very un-Itachi-like squeak of humiliation.

"You totally did! You totally fucked! Oh my fuckin' hell!" Hidan cackles. Kisame coughs nervously and Itachi seems a moment away from beating Hidan within an inch of his immortality.

"Holy hell," Hidan chortles, wiping away a tear of mirth. "I fuckin' _knew_ it! You have no idea how much damn money Kakuzu owes me! I should buy ya a drink to say thanks!"

"I'd like to go to our room now." Itachi looks fit to faint from mortification, and Kisame decides it would be best if they left now.

"I'll betcha he's not as good in the sack as Dei-chan!" Hidan calls at Kisame's back as they walk away. "He's fuckin' dynamite, I'm tellin' ya! You wouldn't _believe_ the body on that bitch! And the freaky stuff he's into is like _damn!_ Betcha he'd be happy to go for a couple rounds if ya wanted to compare!"

"I'll kill him," Itachi growls when their bedroom door shuts behind them.

"He's a moron, Itachi-san. There's no need to get worked up over him." Kisame tries to reassure him.

"I'm not getting worked up!" Itachi snaps. Kisame can't help but snort.

He sets Samehada down and reaches out to cup Itachi's cheek.

"Don't let it bother you, Itachi-san. Hidan is a complete ass. What he says doesn't mean anything."

Itachi sighs, gripping Kisame's wrist tightly and scowling as much as the dignified Uchiha boy could scowl.

"Hey, for what it's worth- I think you're prettier than Deidara."

Kisame steals a kiss from those pretty pink lips, lingering a few moments to tease the boy's bottom lip with razor sharp teeth. Itachi leans into it with a small moan.

Dark lashes tickle Kisame's nose for the briefest moment when they part. Itachi looks in a bit of a better mood now.

"I'll take a shower," he says, undoing the buttons of his cloak and folding it neatly over the desk chair. "I won't take too long."

Kisame nearly suggests that they should shower together, but he refrains; it's been months since Itachi was able to bathe on his own, and the older man was sure he'd enjoy a bit of time to himself.

"Yeah, that's fine."

Itachi heads to the bathroom, and Kisame traipses down to the training grounds to shake the dust off after so much time away.

Deidara evidently just created a very convincing crater in the ground- doubtless testing out some new explosive. He rubs a viciously purple bruise on his bare chest, taking a few moments to register Kisame's arrival.

"Oh, so you and that asshole are back hn?" He asks curtly, with a toss of his blond hair.

"Disappointed?" Kisame asks, raising an eyebrow.

"It's all the same to me." Deidara shrugs his slender shoulders. "If he doesn't die, I'll kill him sooner or later no matter if he's here or not hn."

Kisame frowns. It seems as though Deidara still isn't too keen on this whole 'let's not murder fellow Akatsuki' business the other members already understood. It's almost laughable that the kid thought he stood a chance against the likes of Itachi. Especially given how poorly their last battle ended for him.

Deidara beats his fist into the open palm of his other hand, growling ferociously.

"I'll show him the _real_ power of my art hn! Just you wait."

Kisame doesn't respond to this, letting the boy keep his delusion if that's what made him happy; though it always seemed odd that such a beautiful creature could be so violent.

And Deidara certainly _is_ beautiful, though his beauty is a far different kind than Itachi's.

Itachi's beauty was silent, and passive. It didn't dominate or command attention, instead quietly inviting onlookers to draw near and observe it. A soft, ethereal kind of beauty that enticed slowly and preferred the sidelines. On the other hand, Deidara's was a loud beauty- shouting its presence and demanding to be noticed. It catches the eye immediately, ever seeking to be center stage.

Deidara's hair is sunlight. Itachi's hair is the pitch night sky. Itachi's skin is fresh cream; Deidara's skin is toffee. Deidara's eyes are the brilliant daytime sky; Itachi's eyes obsidian. Both were absolutely stunning, sure- but their beauties were so alien from each other they seemed from two different worlds.

But beyond that- though Kisame wouldn't dare say it to Deidara's face for fear of incurring the artist's wayward wrath- he much prefers Itachi's quiet beauty.

Deidara crosses his arms, slyly grinning at the man through a fringe of cornsilk hair.

"When you get tired of fooling around with that boring bastard" he says smugly, "Just lemme know. I'm always game for some rough n' tumble, hn."

Kisame swallows thickly. Deidara knowingly puts an extra swish in his hips as he walks away.

What the hell was Deidara trying to do, anyway?

* * *

Kisame returns to their room to find Itachi seated on his bed, dressed in plain black clothing, body tense like he was nervous.

Itachi fixes him with a determined look. He ceases fidgeting and raises a hand and gestures for his partner to join him on the bed.

"Is something wrong, Itachi-san?" Kisame asks, obeying the gesture.

"Hmm."

Itachi takes Kisame's face in both his hands and kisses him without any sort of prompting, crashing their lips together desperately.

Why the hell…

Though the rest of Itachi is perfectly composed, his hands are shaking.

"Hey, Itachi-san, what's wrong?" Kisame asks, breaking the kiss abruptly. He grabs Itachi's hands and holds them as gently as a brute like himself can manage.

Itachi shuts out his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh.

"Are you still bothered by what Hidan said?"

Itachi's mouth moves approximately half a centimeter downward, in what was probably meant to be a frown.

 _That's a yes, then._

"Hey, Hidan's an idiot, remember? You know I'd never-"

"That's not the problem!"

Itachi is ready to cry, but far too proud to let the tears come. Not over something this damn petty.

Deidara was everything Itachi wasn't. He's vibrant and lively, soaking up attention like a flower in sunlight. His skin was flawless, unmarred by any scar or callous. His eyes hold that spark of life Itachi knows his own are lacking. He's perfect in every way that Itachi isn't anymore.

Deidara is everything Itachi cannot be. Itachi would be lying to himself if he pretended he wasn't burning with envy.

He doesn't dare to say that out loud, however.

It's a foolish, immature feeling, and Itachi inwardly scolds himself for allowing these thoughts into his head.

What's the point of thinking like this, anyway? As if despising Deidara for what he lacked would fix anything…

"Itachi-san."

Kisame kisses Itachi's forehead-

A silent gesture to show that he understands.

"It's okay, Itachi-san. Everything's okay."

He tangles his fingers in Itachi's damp hair and lays another kiss on his lips.

Strong, rough hands reach up Itachi's shirt, raising goosebumps on the boy's skinny arms. A crimson flush spreads across his cheeks, bringing with it that adorable flustered expression Kisame loves so much.

"Kisame…"

It's the last word spoken before they fall into a hushed symphony of strangled moans and breathy sighs. Clothes fall off and are carelessly cast aside, allowing full access to the tapestry of their scarred bodies.

Itachi reaches out to brush delicate fingers against a particularly vicious scar on his partner's right shoulder, wondering, in the back of his mind, how Kisame sustained such a deep wound.

He trails his fingers down the man's well-built chest to the firm muscles of his abdomen, feeling keenly small and weak underneath his partner. It frightens him-if only a little- to be so prone beneath one so powerful.

The man nips at the shell of Itachi's ear, drawing out a gasp from those pretty perfect lips. He leaves gentle bites all along the flesh of that pale, perfect throat, earning a deep groan in that lovely baritone voice.

Kisame adores coaxing his uneasy partner out of his shell like a frightened cat from its dark hideaway. To settle his uneasy mind with touches and sweet nothings until he forgot everything but what was right in front of him.

"Ahn~!"

Itachi bites his wrist, muffling his cries in his own flesh. His slim back arches sharply against Kisame; the man takes the opportunity to hold him close. Blunt fingernails dig into broad blue shoulders, enough to draw blood.

Heavy panting is the only sound to fill the aftermath. Itachi rests his head against his partner's chest, listening to the steady - _thump thump thump-_ of Kisame's heart underneath. That comforting reassurance that his partner is alive makes Itachi happier than he can describe.

"Imma nap for a bit, Itachi-san," Kisame yawns, sounding content and tired.

"Hm."

* * *

Itachi stares out at the sheets of rain pouring just beyond the balcony's protective canopy. All that protects his naked body is the cloak draped around him, barely retaining his modesty.

His serene contemplation is interrupted, however, by Madara appearing on the ledge of the balcony, arms crossed and looking as stern as it's possible for a masked man to be.

"What is it?" Itachi asks, pretending not to be startled.

"The Third Hokage is dead."

All the breath seems to flood out of Itachi's body at once. His heart skips a beat or ten, and ice takes the place of blood within his veins.

"...How?" He chokes out.

"Orochimaru attacked the village during the Chuunin exams, from the looks of things," Madara answers nonchalantly. "The Third died, and from what I've gathered Orochimaru was badly injured as well. Konoha is in pretty bad shape, too. A disaster all around."

Itachi's knees turn to jelly.

"That one woman tried to tell him what was going on," Madara continues, happily oblivious to the boy's distress. "She warned him that Orochimaru was planning something, and warned him that he had eyes on your brother- but it doesn't seem like the Third was very keen on listening to her. He let things go on ahead, and now the village seems to be in bad shape."

Itachi feels fit to faint.

"And Sasuke?"

"A bit worse for wear, but he's doing fine," Madara replies. "He did surprisingly well in his fight against that Suna Jinchuriki."

 _Sasuke...Jinchuriki...Sasuke Suna Jinchuriki_

"I'm going to Konoha."

Madara looks as puzzled as a masked man can look.

"Whatever for?"

Itachi's trembling hands curl into fists, pulling his cloak tighter in around himself.

"I think they need reminding of the promise they made to me."

A moment of silence as Madara ponders this.

"Fair enough," he finally responds. "You and Kisame can go there under the guise of scoping out the Kyuubi. I'll have Zetsu tell Kisame when he wakes up and you can head out whenever you want."

Itachi nods.

Konoha...back to Konoha…

The very thought fills him with so much dread he might throw up.

"Hey, lighten up." Madara says. "You can leave as soon as Kisame wakes up. If you two don't take a break to fool around you can make it in a day."

Embarrassment piles on top of worry. Itachi splutters and turns red, drawing a sardonic laugh from Madara.

"Well then. I'll let Nagato know where you'll be heading.

The man disappears. Itachi trembles like he's freezing, and his knees finally give way. He hits the ground with a dull _thud_ and doubles over, retching though nothing comes up.

If Sasuke had been killed…

Sarutobi knew Sasuke was in danger, but he'd done _nothing_ to protect him. He'd let the chuunin exams go on _knowing_ Orochimaru was running amok in Konoha. He'd knowingly let the Shukaku (well known for being violent and unstable at the best of times) into the exams. What the hell kind of Hokage was he?!

And now he's dead. The one person- weak and pathetic as he was- who could offer Sasuke any kind of safety is gone.

Fucking Sarutobi Hiruzen…

 **~oOo~**

"I never see you around anymore, Itachi!"

Shinko looks wounded, glaring pitifully as Itachi takes his seat.

"Here I thought we were friends! Why dontcha come around more often?"

"...I've been working," Itachi mumbles sheepishly, looking over her shoulder to avoid eye contact.

"Working too much to even come see your friend?!" Shinko whines, pouting in a rather dramatic fashion. "C'mon, Itachi! I miss you when you're gone!"

"...I'm sorry."

Shinko blinks, catching something off in the boy's face.

"Hey, what's the matter?" she asks, bending down to be more level with him. "You feeling okay?"

"I'm just a bit tired." Itachi's lie flows so naturally he doesn't even give it a second thought.

"Hm. I know what'll fix you up! You wait right here, Itachi!"

Shinko bolts off, returning shortly after with a heaping plate of dango and two cups of hot tea.

"My boss said I could take my break now, so I'll eat with you!" She chirps, sitting down and shoving a skewer of dango toward Itachi. "You like these, right?"

Itachi takes the offered sweets, and eats one of them to appease her. The dango tastes like ash in his mouth, the mitarashi sauce bitter like wormwood. There's absolutely no joy to be found in his favorite treat.

"I heard you got to go to Kiri your last mission! What was that like?" Shinko asks excitedly.

Itachi's muscles snap taut all at once. His hands start to tremble, his mind racing at a million miles a minute. His throat turns to sandpaper, eyes nearly growing wide enough to bulge out of his head.

"I-Itachi? What's wrong?"

"N...nothing." Itachi mumbles, choking down a mouthful of tea to try and compose himself. "I just...Shinko-san, I shouldn't talk about it…"

"Oh, I get it!"

Shinko beams at him, lighting back up.

"Top secret ANBU stuff, right? I shouldn't ask about it, huh? Got it- no more being nosy!"

Itachi lets out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. It rushes out of his lungs shakily, rattling his skinny frame.

Shinko doesn't push the subject any further. She munches on a few dango while Itachi composes himself.

"So, I saw you here with that Kakashi guy," she says after awhile. "He's really cute- do you know if he's single?"

"Huh?" Itachi almost laughs at the question. "I-I don't know. I'm sorry."

"Aww! You've gotta ask him so I know if it's weird to ask him out or not!"

"I think he's a bit old for you, Shinko-san," Itachi mutters.

"Eh? He's not that old, is he?!"

"He's twenty-one."

"Augh! Why does this always happen to me?!" Shinko despairs, squishing her cheek against her hand and resting her elbow on the table. "All the good men are old!"

Itachi laughs weakly, in spite of himself. He and Shinko make more pleasant small talk, and he's almost able to feel normal again. Shinko sees him to the door when they finish.

"Come back soon, alright?! Maybe bring that cute cousin with you- he's single, right?!"

Itachi turns crimson, and lets out another shaky laugh.

"Y-yeah. I'll see you around."

 **~oOo~**

"Wow, it sure looks like Orochimaru did a number on your village, huh, Itachi-san?"

Itachi's heart sinks as he surveys the damage done to Konoha. Tendrils of smoke lingering from the aftermath of fires bring back childhood memories he would rather repress.

"Does coming home make you nostalgic, Itachi-san?" Kisame asks, maybe sensing Itachi's unease.

"...No." Itachi answers, after a painful pause. "Absolutely not."

* * *

 **Shoutout to The Secret Sal for being my beta reader and all-around awesome person! Go read his stuff right now, everyone!**


	2. Konoha

Sorry for yet another unintended hiatus. My piece of shit computer gave up the ghost and I didn't have any other means of writing ;~;

* * *

Itachi stares, mesmerized, at the door to his childhood home. In the heart of the Uchiha compound, behind layers of faded police tape, is the home he once shared with his family. An invisible force pulls him up the porch steps- rickety and creaky from disrepair- and into the dim interior of the house.

"Itachi-san, is this really a good idea?"

Kisame follows after Itachi- just as he's been doing since they entered the village, it seems. It's as if Itachi's legs move of their own accord, determined to take him here.

He trails after Itachi, through the dark, dusty hallway that hasn't seen another human presence in ages. A basket of what once must have been clean laundry sits on the floor next to a long-dead potted plant. The rug is faded, every flat surface covered in a solid inch of dust.

Beyond that, though, is the deep foreboding he feels simply by being in this place. It feels haunted- like the spirits of the long-dead Uchiha are still restlessly wandering the place.

A silly thought, maybe. But he can't shake this dread.

At the end of the hall, three bedrooms sit adjacent to one another, with two more rooms at the other end. One door is decorated with a large paper that read SASUKE'S ROOM in childish, but painstakingly written kanji, the other perfectly blank and unassuming. Itachi walks into the third room without a glance at the others, but curiosity gets the better of Kisame and he steps inside the room with the plain door.

Itachi's room is small, and despite the dust gives the impression of being meticulously well-kept. The bed is neatly made, without so much as a wrinkle in the pillowcase, the desk perfectly organized. Clothes hang in the open closet with military precision, not a millimeter out of place.

A box of standard-issue ANBU equipment sits lonely in the corner. The weapons inside are arranged in Itachi's usual manner on top of a spare flak jacket. A white corner of paper pokes up from one of the many pockets, and Kisame's curiosity gets the better of him. He tugs at the paper and unfolds it to reveal a beaten up photograph.

A boy with a head of wild black hair has his arms wrapped around Itachi, holding him so close their faces touch. He's grinning from ear to ear, like everything is right in the world. Itachi holds onto the boy's arm and beams right alongside him, in a way Kisame hasn't ever seen before.

That boy must be Shisui.

Shisui is just as jaw-droppingly handsome as Itachi- if a bit more wild and unkempt. His silvery-blue kimono is lopsided and sloppily tied, his curly hair unbrushed and messy, while Itachi is as flawlessly put together as Kisame would expect of him. He had a wide, bright smile, open and honest and so damn cheerful- it's hard for him to believe that boy was one of Konoha's most feared and revered soldiers.

And Itachi...Well...

Itachi looks...so happy.

Kisame can only imagine what happened in that brief snapshot. Some sort of autumn festival is going on around them; he can practically smell the food cooking in the booths surrounding them. He can feel the warmth of Itachi's body as some other boy embraces him. There's a life within that smile that simply doesn't exist within the Itachi Kisame has come to know.

His Itachi is only sad. His Itachi doesn't smile like that. Maybe he's forgotten how.

The sound of shattering glass draws Kisame's attention to the room at the end of the hall- the big one behind the big double doors.

Shards of a shattered vase and the remains of a bouquet of roses lay atop the long-dried blood stains on a worn tatami mat, beside a low table it had surely been resting on; perhaps Itachi had knocked it over. Itachi's back is turned to face the man standing before him. His one exposed eye regards Itachi with the coldest sort of indifference.

The man is old- at least as old as the Third. One arm rests in a sling, and his tired frame leans heavily against a cane. Despite his apparent frailty, however, a deep fear emanates off Itachi, almost palpable in the thick air.

Kisame hangs back and holds his breath, unsure if he wants to make his presence known just yet, but wanting to be around in case Itachi needed his help.

"I'd thought you might come back." The old man says. "You've changed quite a bit, Itachi."

"I can't say the same for you," Itachi quips, perhaps in some attempt at humor.

"When you reach my age, that becomes a high compliment." Danzo almost smiles when he says this. "Though, surely you aren't here to reminisce?"

Itachi's eyebrow twitches- a sure sign that he's angry.

"I was surprised to hear that Sasuke had a run-in with someone as dangerous as Zabuza." His voice doesn't break from its dead monotone.

Danzo just shrugs.

"It's of little consequence if he lives or dies," he replies, as casually as if he and Itachi were discussing the weather. "He's turned out to be such a disappointing, mediocre shinobi. I would much have preferred to keep you."

Itachi's twitching fingers curl into fists, Sharingan glowing in the darkness. This sight seems to make the old man happy.

"How bad has your eyesight gotten?" Danzo asks, with a meaningful sneer.

Eyesight? Kisame wonders. Why would this guy be asking about Itachi's eyesight?

"I seem to remember us setting different terms." Itachi says, ignoring Danzo's quip.

"The terms meant very little when you cut us off, Itachi."

What the hell are they on about?

"I heard you met with Orochimaru awhile back," Danzo says coldly. "He hasn't contacted me in awhile either- do you know what's happened with him?"

"Hard to say- he tried to kill me," Itachi replies pointedly. "I haven't seen him since."

"Hm. I'm surprised that's all he tried."

"I'd say that sort of behavior is more your department than his."

The man moves as if to strike Itachi, and Kisame decides he's had enough of passively listening. He steps between the two, blocking Danzo's path with Samehada's massive body.

Danzo is unruffled, merely looking Kisame up and down with his one unbandaged eye.

"You have an interesting taste in guard dogs."

"I'd watch my mouth if I were you," Kisame warns. "My temper is quite a bit shorter than Itachi-san's."

The old man quirks an eyebrow.

"Has he been keeping you well trained, Itachi?"

Kisame feels a sudden, violent surge in Itachi's chakra, but doesn't turn to check on his partner. He doesn't have to. Itachi is pissed off.

"Hey, Itachi-san, should I kill this guy?" He offers, wondering if that would make things better.

A brief silence.

"...No. We're leaving."

Kisame obeys Itachi's command, begrudgingly lowering Samehada rather than killing this man right there.

"Remember- You didn't seal everything away."

"You'd really place that brat over everything else?"

No reply.

Itachi brushes past Kisame, in an unbroken pace out of the house.

"What the hell is going on, Itachi-san?"

Kisame asks this one question, as it encompasses a million questions within it. Why was that man there? Why did he ask about your eyesight? Who's this little brother you seem to care so much about? What sort of 'training' was that old badger talking about?

What sorts of secrets do you know?

"It's my business." Itachi replies, effectively stonewalling any conversation they might have had. Kisame is frustrated beyond words- but once Itachi decided a subject was not to be discussed, the subject would not be discussed. End of.

Kisame decides if they can't talk it out, he'll at least try to cheer him up a bit.

"Why don't we go get some tea before we wrap things up here?"

Itachi doesn't answer, so Kisame takes it as an affirmative. He searches out the first teahouse he can find and ducks inside, his silently brooding partner following closely behind.

Ordinarily they'd stick out like a sore thumb, but it's a trivial matter for Itachi to cast a small genjutsu so they blend in with the crowd. And even without it, their bulky cloaks and hats concealed them thoroughly from leery passersby who saw past the little parlor trick.

Kisame senses Itachi's desire to be left alone, so he doesn't try to start a conversation. This is one of those times it's best to bite his tongue and shut up.

A short span of time that feels like forever passes before Kisame notices they're being watched.

"Itachi-san-"

"I know."

Hatake Kakashi leans nonchalantly against the wall near the entrance to the shop, acting casual to keep passersby from worrying. Half-hidden in a book, it's almost easy to forget the dark eye surveying them like a hawk from beneath a fringe of dark hair.

"Yo, Kakashi. How've ya been?"

A tall, scruffy man casually strolls up to him, accompanied by an attractive, dark-haired woman.

"Oh hey, Asuma, Kurenai. You guys on a date or something?"

"No!" The woman snaps, a little too hastily. "Anko just wanted me to pick up some dango for her, and Asuma's tagging along, that's all!"

"I see," Kakashi replies, clearly not believing a word of it.

"What about you, Kakashi? What're you up to?"

The man shrugs.

"I'm meeting up with my student. We've got some stuff to talk about."

"Oh, is it Sasuke?"

Itachi's hand twitches against his teacup, every muscle fiber going tense at the utterance of that name.

"Sure is. And speak of the devil-"

Kisame cranes his neck, but can't get a view of the new arrival beyond a shock of jet black hair.

"Isn't it weird for you to get somewhere first?" An impetuous voice asks- Kisame can just imagine the pout on the brat's face as he said it.

"Sometimes I do. I thought we'd get some lunch. Talk about life, ya know?"

"Can we at least go somewhere else? I don't really have much of a sweet tooth."

"Oh, is that so?"

Kakashi glances briefly over his shoulder.

"Maybe we'd better be off, Itachi-san?" Kisame suggests, hoping they can slip away before Kakashi decides to make a move. "Forget the Kyuubi or whatever. Let's call it a day."

"Hn."

They get up and attempt to be on their way, but are stopped short by Kakashi's annoying companions (why Kakashi himself hadn't felt the need to join in was anybody's guess).

"...It's been awhile, hasn't it?" Itachi murmurs.

"What're you doing here?!" Asuma demands through gritted teeth.

After another stretch of silence that felt like an eon, Itachi reaches up and casts his hat aside with what might have passed for an annoyed sigh.

Both Asuma and his pretty companion go wide-eyed- Kurenai even gasps in horror.

"So it is you," Asuma growls.

"I'm surprised you still recognized me."

"I gotta admit, it takes guts to walk back in here after the stunt you pulled," Asuma snarks. "So what're you after?"

Itachi responds with his typical stoic silence.

"Come on. You didn't come skulking around dressed like that for no reason, so start talking!"

"Asuma-san, Kurenai-san, please don't get in my way. I don't want to have to kill you."

Itachi's voice is weak, almost pleading, but it falls on deaf ears.

"That's fucking hilarious comin' from the guy who slaughtered his own flesh and blood," Asuma spits.

No retort, naturally.

Kisame decides that he'll take some of the heat off Itachi by exposing his own face as well.

"Since we're here, I might as well introduce myself too. Hoshigaki Kisame, pleased to meet you."

His words draw another gasp from Kurenai.

"You're one of them, aren't you?!" She demands. "One of the Mist's Seven Swordsmen!"

"That's right. And it seems like Itachi-san is even more unpopular in this village than he is in mine. That's a shame."

"He's certainly been keeping some interesting company these past few years, huh?"

Kisame slams Samehada onto the ground, shattering the concrete and startling both Konoha shinobi.

"Itachi-san, this guy is getting on my nerves. Can I kill him?" He grumbles, getting rather annoyed at these two wasting their time.

"No, Kisame. That's only going to bring us more unwanted attention."

Kisame lets out a melodramatic sigh.

"You two are lucky Itachi-san's here, or you'd both be dead by now. Fortunately for you, it seems like he'd rather we just go home."

"If you guys think we're gonna let you walk away, you're insane!" Kurenai barks.

Kisame turns to Itachi, wordlessly asking for his approval.

"...It seems like we're not getting anywhere without a fight," Itachi mumbles. "Let's just do it quickly- your style tends to stand out."

Kisame grins- it's been too long since he's had a good scrap. Hopefully these morons aren't as stupid as they seem.

~oOo~

Kisame could never pinpoint an exact moment when he realized he was nothing like the people around him. Maybe a part of him had always been aware, but suppressed from either denial or in a vain attempt to avoid crushing self-loathing.

He didn't want to be different. Not at first, anyway.

He shut out the whispers of people he passed on the streets. Pretended that it didn't matter that other children didn't want to play with him, because he didn't want to play with them either.

He didn't need anyone else around. He could take care of himself. Like he'd been doing for as long as he could remember.

By the time he was academy age, however, he couldn't avoid it any longer. Fellow students and adults alike spat vicious remarks at him. They cussed and mocked and threw things at him, speaking words that should never grace a child's ears.

Students mercilessly bullied him, stealing his things and shoving him around at any given opportunity.

But Kisame soon learned something else that made him different.

He was strong. Very strong.

Far stronger than any of his classmates, and even stronger than many of his teachers. This strength allowed him to overpower his attackers, leaving them bruised and beaten bloody. This strength allowed him to make anyone who bothered him shut up and run away in short order- whether they were a kid or an adult.

Around the time he broke a teacher's arm, the rude remarks ceased. At least while he was around.

He got good at pretending he wasn't lonely. That eating alone or walking home by himself wasn't a big deal. Because once graduation came, all these mock-friendships would be turned on their heads when everyone was forced to fight each other. That's the way it's always been.

That's the way things are in the Bloody Mist.

Kisame would remain unruffled when that day came. It wouldn't matter if he killed or maimed someone beyond repair, because nobody mattered to him anyway. These people with friendships were straight-up fucked, though. Because when that time came, all these stupid childish friendships would come to an abrupt end. The one who valued their friendship less would be the one to destroy it.

Because that's how it always worked. How it's always been. No point in making friends if they'd just die or betray you right away.

It's always been stupid. Always. But Kisame isn't stupid.

No matter how much everyone else might think he is.

~oOo~

Asuma and Kurenai are easy enough to handle on their own. In fact, the fight really should've been over and done with by now.

Of course, things don't often go the way Itachi plans them in his head.

Kakashi. Of course he'd come back.

The guy actually managed to keep up with Itachi for awhile- which was pretty impressive on its own. But to have a Sharingan on top of that- he wasn't the kind of person Kisame expected.

"I didn't even know there was anyone besides Itachi-san left with those crazy eyes. How cute."

Itachi makes a show of being unruffled, but wants nothing more than to scream out in frustration.

"There's a lot of shit you guys don't know," Kakashi remarks. "Now, how about you tell me what you guys are after?"

Itachi doesn't say anything, so Kisame keeps his mouth shut too. But in all honesty, he'd love nothing more than to rip apart the guy that killed Zabuza.

Itachi runs a hand through his hair and can't quite conceal the fact that it's shaking.

"I think it's time I put a stop to this nonsense," he says flatly.

"Oh really?"

"You've done well with your borrowed Sharingan, Kakashi-san. But I doubt it'll be enough to handle a true heir to the bloodline."

Kisame's heart seizes up painfully. He almost tells Itachi to stop, but his mouth seems to have stopped working.

The tomoe in Itachi's eyes bleed together to make the hypnotic pattern of his Mangekyou Sharingan. Kakashi takes a step back, bracing himself.

"Don't look him at his eyes!" Kakashi implores the other two. Asuma and Kurenai shut their eyes on his command.

"What's going on?" Kurenai demands.

"Be careful. If he catches you, you're finished."

Itachi has gone very pale. He blinks, pauses briefly, and-

Kakashi lets out a small, pained sound somewhere between a whimper and a moan, and crumbles onto the water's surface- like one of Sasori's puppets without the strings. He heaves great gasps of air like he'd just been about to drown.

"Kakashi, what happened?!"

"Aw, after that he's still conscious," Kisame mutters, more than a bit disappointed. "And with you risking overusing those eyes of yours. That was dangerous, Itachi-san."

Itachi's face is ashen now. His arms rest limply by his sides, and he sways on the spot. His breath is ever so slightly hitched, with the barest hint of a wheeze punctuating each one.

Itachi- does that hurt you?

Kakashi manages to lift his head.

"You...are you after Sasuke?"

Kisame watches his partner carefully. Whatever Itachi says next, he'll just have to roll along with it. Whether he told the truth or not.

What was the truth, anyway?

"...We're after the legacy of the Fourth Hokage."

Oh. The Kyuubi. Right.

"So...So it's Naruto you're after…"

It's a wonder the poor bastard can still speak.

Itachi approaches his former comrade. He crouches down to his level, brushing Kakashi's hair aside in an almost gentle gesture. Somewhere between confused and afraid, Kakashi watches him intently.

"You should've stayed out of my way. I didn't want to have to do that to you."

He coos the words out like he's addressing a naughty child. It's a tone of voice Kisame never heard Itachi use. Why the hell is Itachi talking to Kakashi like that?

"Perhaps our next meeting can be on more friendly terms. However, given the state I'm about to leave you in, I suppose we might never have another reunion. I'm sorry."

...Is Itachi angry with this guy?!

The boy straightens back up, leaving Kakashi to his misery and his companions to their horror.

"It's time we got going, Kisame. The Kyuubi is nearby, after all."


	3. Uchiha Sasuke

**Sorry to all five people who might still be reading the story- I didn't know where to go with this chapter. D:**

 **Please enjoy and review :D**

* * *

"Sask-"

Naruto's voice trails off, blue eyes going wide when realization dawns on him. Itachi gives him his usual tacit demeanor, taking a few precious seconds to try and pick out any of Kushina's features in her son's face, but only finding a perfect miniature of the Fourth.

"...Who are you?" Naruto mumbles, his tone indicating that he already knows. He grips the hotel room door frame warily.

Itachi doesn't answer him.

"Itachi-san, are we sure this pipsqueak is really the Kyuubi?" Kisame asks, eyeballing the kid in front of them skeptically.

The boy swallows audibly, taking a step backward, forever keeping those bright blue eyes fixated on the two in front of him.

He's _tiny._ Skinny. Scrawny. He had that look about him Kisame always saw on the myriad of orphans running the streets of Kiri. That sad, neglected look of the kind of kid that was never properly looked after.

Itachi takes a half step toward the child, leaning forward slightly; the same thing he did whenever he spoke to the children in Amegakure.

"Naruto-kun," again, that same kind tone he uses whenever he addresses children, "We'd like you to come with us, please."

Naruto still can't find his voice. He can only continue to stare, the gears in his mind grinding full-force while he tries to make sense of what's happening.

Itachi wonders if they should actually take Naruto along or if he should find some excuse to leave him behind. However, his train of thought is violently derailed and destroyed by a presence that's all too familiar to him.

The air grows tense, and though Itachi doesn't turn to see who's waiting for him, he knows exactly who is glaring daggers at his back.

"It's been a long time, Sasuke."

Kisame turns his head and gets his first glimpse of that little brother he's heard so very little about.

Sasuke is a few shades paler than Itachi, with shorter hair and a rounder face. His eyes aren't as sunken, without the deep, dark circles underneath. They're filled with a rage and a that Kisame couldn't even begin to comprehend.

"Well, look at that. Another Sharingan. Today's just full of surprises, eh?"

"Itachi…"

The child's voice trembles with anger, Sharingan blazing to life in those haunted eyes.

"...I'll kill you!" He snarls, with all the ferocity such a small child can muster.

"Itachi-san, who is this kid?" Kisame asks, although he already knows the answer.

"My little brother."

 _Of course._

"Sasuke, what are you doing?!" Naruto demands, worry making his voice crack. But Sasuke ignores this entirely.

"That's funny, Itachi-san. Last I heard, the Uchiha were all wiped out," Kisame says, with a smirk and a glance at Naruto. "By you."

The words make Naruto's eyes widen further still, terror gripping him. It's all too easy to get a reaction out of this kid- it's comical.

"I've done just what you said, Itachi." Sasuke snarls. I've lived my life hating you. I've lived for just one reason-"

A deafening screaming sound pierces the air. Electricity crackles to life, wrapping itself around Sasuke's hand and arm.

"-To watch you die!"

Itachi doesn't so much as look at his brother. However, what little color left in his face drains away, and he looks like he might be sick.

Sasuke takes a mad strike at his brother, the wall of the hotel cracking and crumbling from sheer force of his chakra. However, Itachi halts the attack merely by grabbing his wrist. The chirping of the Chidori goes silent, and for an agonizing moment, one could only hear the child's panicked breath.

Then-

Itachi moves his hand. Just the barest motion, hardly noticeable. But with that motion, a sickening _CRACK_ echoes through the hallway, and Sasuke lets out a scream that raises the hairs on the back of Kisame's neck. Sasuke crumbles to the floor in a shivering heap when Itachi releases his wrist.

An enormous surge of chakra fills the air. Naruto makes a move to form a hand seal- fast, but not fast enough.

Kisame slams Samehada down in front of him. Naruto's brow knits in confusion.

"What-"

"Nice try, kid. But Samehada here eats chakra. Your jutsu are no good. Now, what should I cut off you- a leg or an arm?"

Naruto is once again scared into silence. Kisame swings Samehada- but finds his path suddenly blocked.

By a toad?

Naruto's face turns to one of relief.

"Pervy Sage!"

"Now here's a sight you don't see every day!" Jiraiya proclaims. "Two of the world's most wanted men, right here in front of me! It must be my lucky day- do you know how high the bounty would be for Hoshigaki Kisame _and_ Uchiha Itachi?"

 _So this is Jiraiya? Sanin Jiraiya? I can't say I'm very impressed._

"No!" Sasuke snaps. "He's mine!"

"Go away," Itachi mumbles, like he really doesn't want to say anything at all. "You don't interest me at the moment."

"Then _get_ interested!" Sasuke roars, charging recklessly toward Itachi.

As nonchalantly as swatting an insect, Itachi sends his younger brother flying backward with one swift kick to the chest. The wall cracks under the boy's weight, and he crumples to the floor like a discarded wad of paper.

" _Sasuke!"_ Naruto screams, leaping forward to help his friend.

"Don't butt in, Naruto!" Sasuke howls. "Mind your own business!"

Legs shaking, chest heaving, trembling with pain but still defiant, Sasuke forces himself onto his feet.

"I've waited too long for this day- for this _moment._ This fight is mine!"

There is a brief moment of stillness, as if Itachi was thinking the words over.

"...So be it," he mutters, finally turning to face his brother properly.

Jiraiya makes a move to intervene, but once again, Kisame blocks their path with Samehada.

"You heard the kid. This fight is none of our business- let's let the two of them sort it out, shall we?"

Kisame watches with curiosity.

 _So what're you gonna do, Itachi-san?_

Itachi grabs his brother by his shirt, then hesitates again. But after that hesitation, he deals a swift, overwhelming blow to his stomach.

Then to his back.

Then to his head.

He is absolutely merciless to his poor, pathetic younger brother. It's terrifying, but- as awful as it probably is- it excites Kisame a little.

It's that side of Itachi he so rarely got to see, and the side that even Itachi himself would rather not admit is there. That ruthless, wicked side of him he kept buried deep inside. And now he's gotten to see it twice in one day.

 _My lucky day indeed._

Sasuke collapses onto the floor in a shuddering heap, groaning, miserable and beaten bloody. But still, after all that punishment, he still makes a valiant effort to get back up and fight, though he's too battered to even properly form hand seals anymore.

Itachi picks him up, hoists him clean off the ground, and slams him against the wall, knocking the wind clean out of him.

"You're still too weak. You don't have enough hate." Itachi has once again taken on that condescending, mocking tone he'd used with Kakashi. "And you know something?"

Sasuke makes a noise that might have been a whimper when Itachi leans in close.

"You never will."

Sasuke's breath comes in shaky, panicked gasps. Then, they stop- just for a moment.

And then-

A scream tears its way from the boy's throat. A scream Kisame has never heard before. A scream of terror, of anguish, of agony and sorrow the likes of which he can't even imagine.

Naruto makes a low, keening sound of fear.

"Using Tsukuyomi on your own little brother?" Kisame asks. "That's heartless even for you, Itachi-san."

"I've had enough!" Naruto screams. Jiraiya catches him by the scruff midway through lunging at Itachi.

"I've got this. You worry about that friend of yours."

He does a few quick hand signs, too quick for Kisame to do anything. Then, everything suddenly gets pink. And squishy. And gross.

"Ah, what the hell-"

"Welcome to the belly of the beast, my friends! It must be pretty embarrassing, knowing you're gonna die stuck in a toad's 's gotta be humbling."

The fleshy floor creeps over Kisame's feet, making him squirm in disgust and maybe a little fear.

Itachi sets his brother down. Though he's more focused on not being consumed by toad guts, Kisame catches Itachi brushing Sasuke's cheek gently, almost lovingly.

"Kisame- we're leaving."

Kisame tears Samehada free, struggling to keep from getting consumed entirely.

"Easier said than done!" He snaps back.

He follows on Itachi's coattail, watching Jiraiya out of his peripheral vision. The man forms another seal, and the floor of toad innards rises up and begins to chase them like some disgusting tsunami.

"Don't look now, but there's a wall of _flesh_ coming after us," he warns Itachi, unable to keep the snark completely out of his voice.

Kisame can't help but notice that Itachi is running headlong toward a very solid wall of insides. They're rapidly running out of space to run, and he's just about to voice his concern, when-

Black flames erupt from the wall ahead of them, eating through the flesh like it were foam over water. They burst free and take off, putting Konoha behind them as quickly as possible.

"So we're just running away? Seems like we do a lot of that."

"The best we could hope for against Jiraiya is a stalemate," Itachi replies. "It would be foolish to try and fight him."

Kisame knows damn well this is a lie, but decides to accept Itachi's answer.

"So what do we do now?" Kisame asks. "Seems like we screwed up pretty badly."

"We'll worry about that later. Right now, we'd best lay low until things settle down. I know somewhere we can go."

When they touch down on the water so launch off again, Itachi nearly loses his footing. He's still stark white and moves slower than usual.

"That trick with the black fire really took it outta you, eh?"

No response, but Kisame expects that at this point. He gets bored of following behind Itachi, and picks up his pace to run alongside him instead. When he catches up-

"What the hell, Itachi?!"

Blood is freely weeping from Itachi's right eye, almost like Itachi is crying.

"...It's nothing."

"Sure as fuck doesn't _look_ like nothing!"

Itachi lets out a put-upon sigh.

"It's just from the Mangekyou Sharingan. I'm fine."

Kisame wants to grab Itachi and shake some sense into him. Like hell any bit of this is fine!

And yet, he just shuts his mouth and lets Itachi lead toward wherever they're heading.

~oOo~

"Yo, Taicho! You're pretty ballsy to be showing your face in public!"

Itachi pretends not to hear the person speaking to him, instead feigning being far too invested in changing out of his mission clothes, eyes fixated on his locker so he didn't have to look around.

"Hey, I gotta know, man! How'd ya get away with it?!"

The man wraps an arm around Itachi's shoulders and pulls him in close. Itachi squirms uncomfortably and swallows a whimper.

"G-get away with what?"

"C'mon, Taichou, don't play dumb! How'd you manage to kill Shisui and walk around like nothing happened?!"

"Yeah!" Another man chimes in. "Didn't they wanna throw your ass in jail? What'd you say to get them to let you go?"

Itachi writhes his way out of the man's grasp, shaking his head violently.

"I didn't-"

"Did ya drown him or did ya just dump his body in the river?"

"I said I-"

"How'd you even manage to kill a guy like Shisui, anyway? That guy was a tough son of a bitch!" Another chimes in. "Did you kill him in sleep or what?!"

"Maybe he stabbed him in the back when they were training together. That'd be easy, huh?"

"Or maybe he poisoned him! That'd kill the poor bastard and he wouldn't even notice!"

"Hey, you guys, that's enough."

Kakashi grabs Itachi's arm and tugs him gently away from the three harassing him.

"He's already been interrogated, remember? He's got nothing to do with it. Leave him alone."

"You actually buy that? I thought you were smart, Kakashi."

Kakashi smiles beneath his mask.

"I'm not smart at all. You're just a bunch of dumbasses."

He keeps his grip on Itachi's arm and leads him out of the locker room, leaving the other men with stunned and angry expressions. A tremulous burst of air rushes from Itachi's lungs.

"Thank you…" he mumbles, face burning with anger and humiliation.

"Don't mention it. If I had to listen to that any longer I woulda punched someone." Kakashi smiles cheerfully under his mask. "I'm guessing you were pretty close to that yourself."

Itachi mumbles something half-coherent.

"How about we go out and you can buy me some tea?" Kakashi offers in a playful tone.

Itachi blinks and stares blankly.

"It was a joke- c'mon, I'll buy this time."

Before Itachi has the chance to protest, Kakashi half-drags him to his favorite hole-in-the-wall cafe. He guides the boy to a secluded booth tucked into the corner and orders them a copious amount of snacks. When the starry-eyed waitress leaves after taking their order, his cheerful facade falls.

"I know you didn't do it."

"Huh?"

Kakashi's visible eye narrows, fixing Itachi with a piercing stare.

"You didn't kill Shisui. I know that."

Itachi's frown deepens, brow creasing in confusion.

Their silence while the waitress delivers their food is so awkward it's painful. Itachi tries to keep it together, desperately trying to get his nerves under control and think up a proper response. Kakashi briefly lowers his mask to bite into a strawberry daifuku; his face is stern and more serious than Itachi's ever seen it.

"You've been acting weird, even before this happened. Something's going on- let me try to help."

"There's nothing that can be done."

Itachi fiddles with a skewer of dango and avoids looking at Kakashi.

"I'm okay, really," he lies (albeit poorly). "I've just been tired. That's all."

"Have you not been sleeping?" Kakashi asks, quirking a silver eyebrow.

"I never sleep," Itachi answers, with a nervous laugh. He tries to eat some of the sweets, but everything tastes like plastic to him.

"Hey, I get it. I don't either."

"Because of Obito?"

"Yeah." Kakashi casts a half-angry, half-sad expression into his teacup. "Did you know him very well?"

Itachi shakes his head.

"I was too young when it happened. He came around our house a lot, but I don't remember a lot beyond that he was my mother's cousin."

"Hm."

Itachi forces himself to have a few more bites; it's the first food he's eaten in days.

"I'm sorry. I know he was your friend."

"My best friend," Kakashi adds, his voice suddenly very quiet. Itachi wraps his hands around his teacup and squeezes it.

"I'm sorry. I know how that is."

"Not quite."

Itachi looks offended.

"That's not what I meant!" Kakashi adds quickly.

"What did you mean, then?"

"Shisui wasn't just a friend to you, was he?"

Itachi's stomach lurches; he clamps his hand over his mouth to keep his shock from escaping. He can't, however, keep his face from turning scarlet.

"Hey, it isn't anything to be ashamed of. Don't be embarrassed."

Itachi's heart pounds against his ribs, an inexplicable fear welling up within him. He fidgets with his hands, then with his ponytail. He's humiliated and terrified about who else might know.

"...How did you-"

"It's the way he looked at you. There was nothing platonic about it."

Kakashi is half joking, but it doesn't help.

"Don't worry. Nobody else has figured it out, and I'm not gonna tell anyone."

This allays Itachi's fears a bit. He releases his pent-up breath, smiling shakily.

"Thank you, senpai."

Kakashi's demeanor has grown serious again.

"I know you didn't kill Shisui," he repeats, "But I also know that you know what happened to him."

Itachi's heart leaps into his throat and lodges itself there.

"I know Shisui didn't just kill himself out of nowhere. You were closer to him than anyone- if someone knows what happened, it has to be you."

It feels as though a kunai is lodged in Itachi's throat. He bows his head to hide his face, chopsticks clacking together from the trembling of his hand.

"I...I really don't know."

"Itachi, you and I both know you're lying." Kakashi's voice is gentle. "Tell me what happened- let me help you."

"I said I don't know!" Itachi shouts, shrill enough to draw curious glances were they not hidden from view.

Itachi nearly cries, only barely keeping his composure.

"I've talked about it enough," he insists, his tone adamant though his voice wavers and cracks dangerously. "I've been interrogated, just like you said. I've spoken to Ibiki-san and to my own family. I have nothing more to say on the matter. Please- just let it rest."

Kakashi gives Itachi a searching look; one last silent offer for the boy to ask for help.

"...Alright, Itachi. I believe you. I'm sorry."

 **~oOo~**

After an eon of blindly following Itachi's lead, Kisame is grateful when the boy finally stops.

They're very firmly in that land known as "the Middle of fucking Nowhere," with nothing around them besides an endless sea of trees and an endless crystalline lake stretching into the horizon. A small house sits on the lakeshore, the Uchiha family crest emblazoned on the door.

"What's this place, Itachi-san?"

"My family used to spend time here in the summer."

Itachi wobbles dangerously on the porch steps, but catches himself before he falls and acts like it didn't happen. The door creaks slightly as it opens.

To Kisame's surprise, the inside of the house is bright and well-kept, without the dust and neglect of Itachi's childhood home. It gives every impression of being lived in.

Before he can ask the obvious question, he receives his answers.

"Woah! Itachi- is that really you _nyan?!_ You're so tall now!"

A sleek, yellow-eyed black cat darts up to them, accompanied by an orange cat and a long-haired gray cat. Each one wears a tiny blue jacket also embroidered with the Uchiha crest.

 _Ninja cats?_

The cats purr and rub against Itachi's legs excitedly, and the black one continues to chatter.

"It's been so long _nya!_ You wouldn't believe what sort of rumors people've been spreading about you!"

Itachi's face turns gray, breath trapping in his throat.

"Granny says she doesn't believe a word of it! 'Itachi is a gentle kitten- he'd never do anything of the sort' she always says _nyan."_

Shaky breath escapes Itachi, and he crouches down to scratch behind the cat's ears. The other two push to try and get his attention as well, with whines of "Me too, me too!" and impatient little mewls. The noise brings a fleet of cats of all sorts flocking around him, all mewing their excitement at seeing Itachi.

 _Are the cats keeping this place in order, then?_

It seems so ridiculous, but the facts seem undeniable.

" _Nya_ Itachi-chan, are you okay?" an old tabby asks, nudging him with her snout. "You look ill."

"Of course he's not okay _nya,_ or he wouldn't have come here!" the gray cat chimes in.

"I'm...very tired," Itachi admits.

"Your old room is still set up for you _nyan._ You and your friend can rest here for as long as you like."

Itachi stands up; but as he does so, his face tinges green, and he sways dangerously. Kisame puts a hand on his shoulder to steady him. He still doesn't say anything, still trying to process everything that's happened today.

He keeps his hand on Itachi and walks with him to where the bedrooms are. Itachi shrugs off his heavy cloak with a sigh, hanging it over the footboard of the bed.

"Hey, Itachi-san."

"Hm?"

Kisame is trying very hard to keep his anger in check.

"Tell me- when exactly were you planning on telling me what those eyes do to you?"

Itachi doesn't turn around or even glance in Kisame's direction. He pulls his shirt up over his head, folds it neatly, and sets it aside.

"Itachi-san, it really pisses me off when you hide important things from me."

Kisame feels his temper bubbling ever closer to the boy bows his head, but maintains his silence.

"I can't keep stumbling around in the dark around you. If you really don't trust me you need to say so."

Itachi still refuses to turn around, but the muscles in his back and shoulders go taut.

"It isn't an issue of trust," he says, his voice hoarse, and dry.

"Then what _is_ it about?!"

In the pause that follows, Kisame faintly registers a faint _drip._

"It's my burden to bear. I didn't want to trouble you over it."

 _Drip_

Kisame feels a surge of rage at those words.

 _Drip_

"Your burdens are _my_ burdens too, now! That's what being together is about, isn't it?!"

 _Drip_

"...I'm sorry, Kisame. I know you're concerned-"

"The fuck are you on about?!" Kisame demands, his voice choking up more than he'd like. "Concerned?! Just 'concerned'?! I'm _way_ past that! Itachi, do you have any idea how much I worry about you?!"

Kisame seizes Itachi by the shoulders and whirls him around so they can be face to face.

"How fucking clueless are…"

His voice trails off, a grim pall shrouding his anger.

Thick crimson rivulets run down Itachi's cheeks, falling off his jaw onto the floor. His face is ashen and ghostly. But more than anything, the expression on Itachi's face is the worst. It's heartbreaking, an intermingling of sadness and fear.

"I'm sorry…"

He takes Kisame's hand in both of his, though his own are shaking rather badly.

"It was stupid of me...I shouldn't have...I know that. I'm sorry."

He presses his lips against Kisame's hand in apology. The blood from his eyes stains the cuff of Kisame's sleeve.

"...I never meant to frighten you. I'm so sorry."

Kisame finds his anger dissipating; it's hard to stay angry when Itachi looks so pitiful. He wipes the blood from the boy's face with his sleeve and sighs in defeat.

"Get some rest, Itachi. We'll talk about it later."

He leaves Itachi there; the old tabby is waiting at the door, dragging a small, ancient red blanket in her teeth.

"The hell is that?" Kisame asks incredulously.

"Ita-chan's favorite blanket! We always keep it to cheer him up when he's feeling bad," The cat replies, dropping the blanket with a toss of her head. She nudges it through the doorway with her snout. "I'll just leave it here, Ita-chan!" She calls into the room. "When you wake up I'll have tea ready!"

 _How is a cat gonna make tea?_

The bedroom door closes, and a few eavesdropping cats slink into the room.

"Are you Ita-chan's boyfriend?" One of them mewls conspiratorially.

" _Nya!_ You think Ita-chan would date someone who looked like that?"

"Don't be rude, Kuro!"

"Hey, I'm just sayin'!"

"-You must be exhausted," the old tabby cuts in, shooting the others a dirty look. Kisame chooses not to respond, and opts instead to take a quick look around.

The house-more of a cabin, really- has a tiny kitchen, two little bedrooms, and a small common area set up with a kotatsu and a bookshelf crammed with as much as it could hold. Kisame sits at the kotatsu hoping to think things over. The setting sun comes in through the glass door, casting long shadows over everything.

"How has Ita-chan been?" The tabby asks, nudging his hand to get his attention. "It's been years since he's come here- has he been alright?"

"Huh? More or less, I suppose." Kisame responds.

"I hope so. Ita-chan was such a frail kitten, after all. He spent so much time here growing up."

"Eh?"

The tabby blinks.

"Oh, I guess you don't know. Fugaku-sama and Mikoto-sama didn't want anybody in Konoha knowing about Ita-chan's poor health. He was ill so often, though- it was hard to keep that secret. When he got very ill, they brought him here so he could recover in secret. They worked out an agreement with Granny that we could live here for free; all we'd have to do is keep the place clean, and keep Ita-chan company while he's here."

The cat sighs, touching a paw to the tuft of white fur on her chest.

"I was so heartbroken when I heard what happened to them. Fugaku-sama and Mikoto-sama were good people. Ita-chan must have been devastated."

"I'd bet," Kisame mutters, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"I'm glad he's made a friend, at least. Ita-chan's never been much of a social person."

 _No wonder, if he was locked up in this gilded birdcage so often._

"Well, I'll leave you alone for awhile. Thank you for bringing him here safely."

Kisame has a million thoughts running through his head, and he doesn't know where to start sorting through all of them;


	4. A Conversation

**Don't worry! I'm still alive- I just suck at updating! *dodges objects being thrown at me*  
**

* * *

The uncharacteristic brightness of the full moon is Kisame's only company while he heads into the lake, in hopes the water might clear his head. The cold water sends a jolt through his body, welcoming him like the embrace of an old friend. It offers hollow comfort, but does precious little to settle his troubled thoughts. Specifically, the one nagging thought that has been playing in the back of his mind for quite awhile now.

Itachi is a liar.

Whether he meant to be or not, Itachi has been utterly dishonest with Kisame for too damn long. And Kisame would be lying to himself if he didn't admit it bothered him.

Kisame knows it's time to have A Conversation about why he's angry. But words are hard, and words about feelings are even harder.

He doesn't want to upset Itachi, certainly. But he can't just sit and rage without putting a voice to his own thoughts. And he can't have Itachi keep leaving him in the dark all the time. He wants to help- if there's anything that can even be done. But he can't even try if Itachi never tells him what's wrong.

Why do relationships have to be so fucking complicated?

He procrastinates going back into the house, swimming until the moon retreats behind the mountains, and the sun starts to creep up in its place. He feels a little better after that.

So. Time to go try and have A Conversation. Wonderful.

He leaves the water behind, and makes sure to dry off before he goes back inside.

Cats are sleeping on every horizontal surface in the house, making it rather difficult to walk around. He finds Itachi sitting on the back porch, curled up rather sullenly, nursing a cup of what smells like ginger tea. The old tabby rubs her head against him, purring sympathetically.

"Are you sure you aren't hungry?" She asks. "You're so thin."

"I'm alright, thank you."

The cat catches sight of Kisame, fuzzy brow knit together; she catches the serious look on his face, glances at Itachi, then lets out a little sigh.

"Well, I'll be inside if you need me."

She darts off with that speed so innate to felines, perhaps to escape the awkward tension.

"...You're angry with me."

It's not a question, but an observation.

"Yeah, I'm pretty mad," Kisame admits, sitting beside him. "And you know why."

Itachi sips at his tea, and pulls a face.

"I'm sorry."

Kisame huffs, venting irritation through his breath.

"Itachi. When you hide things from me, I can't do anything about them. It makes me feel helpless when you do that, and it's frustrating as hell. Especially when it's something big."

Itachi hangs his head.

"I'm sorry," he repeats.

His hands tighten around his teacup, teeth clenched tight.

"Uchiha aren't supposed to be like me," he says tersely, almost like he's annoyed. "Uchiha aren't supposed to be weak. In and out of hospitals so doctors can shake their heads and say there isn't anything that can fix me. Biting my tongue and trying not to cry because my mother was already worried sick over me. Hiding out of sight because nobody can ever know what a mistake I am. I'm not supposed to be like that."

Itachi spits the words out like they taste acrid.

"Nobody could ever know. It would be a disgrace if the clan heir was as pathetic as I am. I got used to hiding it."

"You don't have to do that anymore, Itachi-san," Kisame reminds him.

"I _know_ that. I just can't seem to shake the habit."

Itachi sets his tea down beside him and rubs his temples. A hoarse cough wracks his body.

"I'm not supposed to be _weak_ ," he growls, once he has his voice back.

" _You're still too weak."_

Kisame may be crazy for thinking it, but he wonders if, maybe, when Itachi had uttered those words, that he was talking more to himself than to his younger brother.

"Itachi-san…"

He wraps an arm awkwardly around Itachi's shoulders.

"It's not weak to ask for help, you know."

Itachi sighs wearily.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

Itachi leans against Kisame, closing his eyes. He tries to sigh again, but it turns into a wrenching cough halfway through. Kisame pats his back and waits for it to subside.

Itachi gets a split second's reprieve, before launching straight back into another fit. Harsh coughs rip from deep within his chest- almost like he's barking. It feels like an eternity before Itachi regains his breath.

His hand is stained with blood when he pulls it away from his mouth. Kisame nearly recoils from horror.

"Are you alright, Itachi-san?!"

Itachi opens his mouth to speak, but his breath is stolen yet again. His face turns ashen, and the startlingly bright red blood starts to seep between his fingers. The force of the coughing doubles him over, making him throw up what little there is in his stomach. Kisame can only hold him steady and make sure his hair stays out of the way while Itachi's body attempts to force his stomach out through his throat.

 _Shit. Fucking shit. What do I do?_

 _Is there anything I_ _ **can**_ _do?!_

Itachi clutches at his middle, moaning weakly.

"...I feel like garbage," he grumbles, perhaps at a feeble attempt at humor.

"Yeah, I'd say that's a fair thing to say," Kisame answers. "Are you done?"

"I think so."

Kisame reaches over to hand Itachi his tea back.

"Probably better get the blood out of your mouth," he adds. "Or you might puke again."

Itachi gingerly sips at the tea to get rid of the taste of iron.

"So," Kisame mumbles clumsily, "does this come with those crazy eyes of yours, or what?"

"Not that I'm aware," Itachi replies, sarcasm coloring his voice.

"Does that mean hacking out half the blood in your body is a normal thing for you?"

"The blood is new."

Itachi stares at the sunrise for awhile, his breathing still quite shaky.

"Itachi-san."

"Hm?"

"When that guy asked you how bad your eyesight's gotten, what did he mean?"

The boy flinches, and for a moment Kisame expects him not to answer. But Itachi surprises him when he opens his mouth.

"Mangekyo Sharingan."

Kisame gives Itachi's hand a squeeze to prompt him onward.

"I'm not gonna be mad," he reassures the boy.

"Everything comes with a price," Itachi says flatly. "And that's how the Mangekyo works. The longer you have it, and the more you use it, the further your eyesight degrades. That's all there is to it."

He speaks so matter-of-factly, like he's long ago accepted what was waiting for him. Kisame, however, finds himself horrified.

"Is there anything that can be done?"

Itachi shakes his head.

"Once you have it, it's more or less settled."

"So why would anyone get it?!" Kisame demands.

"We don't get a real say in the matter."

Itachi hugs his knees to his chest, looking off somewhere in the distance.

"Those of us who gain the Mangekyo Sharingan gain it because we lose the person most precious to us."

He squeezes his legs tighter against him, looking very much like he wants to cry.

"A friend. A parent. A lover. It doesn't matter who they are. If the person closest to you dies, something about the grief activates the Mangekyo."

The steadily rising sun makes the silver necklace around Itachi's neck glitter.

"So you mean-"

Kisame doesn't have to say the name. Itachi nods, once, and swallows audibly.

"Love turned to sorrow. The kind you would rather die than have to bear. The kind that tears your insides apart and leaves you begging for the pain to stop."

He can't stop a few tears from escaping.

It's cruel, Kisame thinks, that anyone-even people as haughty as the Uchiha were supposed to be- would have to bear that kind of burden. And to go blind on top of everything-

"My father had it, too," Itachi murmurs. "After his friend was killed. I think it was the only time I ever saw him cry."

The silence that follows is broken by another bout of vicious coughing. He draws great, whooping gasps of air between between violent fits, his entire body wracked with the force of it. Kisame holds him close, in some vain attempt at comfort while Itachi struggles to regain himself.

Itachi's skin is so hot it nearly burns. His heart pounds against his ribcage so hard that Kisame feels it through their clothing.

An eon passes, and Itachi at last can draw a few thin wheezes of air. He slumps against Kisame with a pitiful groan of agony.

Kisame doesn't ask if he's alright, because that would be a stupid question.

He isn't angry anymore. He can never be angry at Itachi for long.

Itachi hasn't ever spilled his guts quite like that- well, not while he was sober. Maybe the fever's gotten to his head.

"Do you need to lay back down?"

A nod.

"Alright then- up you go, Itachi-san."

The boy's legs shake dangerously; he leans heavily against his partner to avoid falling over.

"I figured I'd outgrown this," he complains- possibly more to himself than to Kisame.

"Outgrown what?"

"Being this ill. It's a real pain in the ass."

Something about Itachi's deadpan tone makes Kisame burst out laughing.

"I'd imagine it would be. I've never really been sick before, so I wouldn't know."

"Well, lucky you," Itachi grumbles.

The pair navigates the maze of dozing cats and makes their way back to the tiny bedroom.

"I'm sorry to be such a bother."

"You're not a bother, Itachi-san."

Itachi wrestles off his damp shirt and falls rather ungracefully into bed, burying his face in the white pillow and letting out a mournful sound.

"You wanna be alone?"

"No."

Itachi utters the word emphatically, grabbing Kisame's wrist to keep him there. It startles Kisame, stopping his heart for half a beat.

"Stay with me…"

He whimpers rather childishly, keeping his grip on his partner's wrist.

There's more to Itachi's words than a request. Kisame can hear the meaning in Itachi's voice; he can see it in the jet black depths of Itachi's eyes.

 _Don't leave me. I'm tired of being alone._

Kisame sighs, sitting down on the foot of the bed and reclaiming his arm from the boy.

"Whatever you say, Itachi-san."

Despite the rest of Itachi being painfully hot, his hand is cold as ice. Kisame holds on anyway, for whatever comfort he can give the boy.

That's all he can do right now.

He feels helpless.

Helpless. The worst feeling in the world.

Even though the bed is far too small, and Itachi's body is far too warm, Kisame lays down beside Itachi, carefully cradling the boy's head against his chest.

Despite a fever high enough to make him melt, Itachi still shivers like he's freezing.

It takes an eternity, but Itachi manages to drift back into a fitful sleep. Kisame, however, can't quiet his mind enough to rest. He also can't bring himself to get out of the bed, even though Itachi is sleeping how.

He gently squeezes the boy's body, pressing his face into the crook of Itachi's neck.

"Hurry up and get better, moron," he mumbles-

If only to himself.

* * *

"How'd you know I was here?"

Shisui is smiling, but Itachi knows the smile isn't genuine. He wants to get up and hug Shisui and tell him everything is alright, but he doesn't think he has the strength to get up from under the warmth of the kotatsu.

"Your mom said you were on a mission, but the ANBU office didn't have you on the mission roster for another week. It wasn't hard to figure out."

Shisui lets himself in the front door, setting his bag on the floor and letting his facade fall.

"How bad is it this time?" He asks.

Itachi shrugs halfheartedly in response.

"Pretty bad, I guess. The doctors never say anything to my face- they always take my mom to another room to talk about it."

"Well that's just bullshit. You deserve to know what's going on too!"

"Watch your language!" The tabby cat scolds, the fur on her back bristling.

"Sorry, Tora," Shisui mutters.

"Ita-chan just needs to worry about getting better. He shouldn't be troubled with the details."

Shisui looks like he wants to say something, but he bites his tongue.

"I brought some snacks," he says instead, kneeling down to rummage in his bag. "Maybe they'll cheer you up."

"I'm not hungry."

"Itachi. When was the last time you ate?"

"...Yesterday, maybe?" Itachi mumbles sheepishly.

"Then you're gonna eat right now."

"I'm not-"

"This isn't a debate, Itachi."

Shisui sets out the spread of snacks on the kotatsu and presses an onigiri into Itachi's hand, pushing his book aside.

"Come on. You'll feel better after you eat."

Itachi takes a bite to appease Shisui, forcing the mouthful down despite his nagging nausea. Shisui watches him until he's finished the entire thing.

"Better?"

"...A little," Itachi admits.

"Told ya."

Itachi finds the appetite for a few pieces of candy and a small pastry, realizing that he actually is quite hungry. Shisui joins in, still observing Itachi carefully.

"I didn't mean to worry you, niisan," Itachi murmurs.

"It's no big deal. I'd worry about you even if everything was fine. I can't help it."

Itachi goes pink in the cheeks and lets out an awkward laugh that sounds more like a wheeze.

"You're too much, niisan."

"Only because you're so perfect."

Shisui leans across the kotatsu and kisses Itachi's fevered forehead.

"Hurry up and get better, stupid."


	5. Tsukuyomi

**THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR ALL AUDIENCES. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED**

* * *

Kisame doesn't remember dozing off, but when he wakes up, it's some time in the afternoon.

It's too warm in here. When did it get so warm...?

Hoarse, dry coughing breaks the quiet.

...Oh, right.

Itachi's lips are pale, his body damp with fevered sweat. Incoherent mumbling mixes with that horrible cough that comes from deep in Itachi's lungs. He writhes like he's being tortured, his face contorted in agony. He lets out a sharp, keening whine

"I'm sorry-"

(Another nightmare. How horrid.)

Kisame brushes away whisps of black hair that stick to Itachi's cheek; you could fry an egg on Itachi's forehead, his skin is so hot.

"Stop-"

Kisame reaches out to jostle Itachi awake.

"Hey, Itachi-san, you're only dreaming-"

A hand flies out and seizes Kisame's wrist in a vice grip.

"Oi, Itachi-san-!"

Itachi's eyes fly open.

Kisame only gets the smallest glimpse of the pinwheel pattern of the Mangekyou Sharingan. But that's all it takes.

* * *

Suddenly, the world is black, black, _**black**_. A darkness Kisame has never seen before, so total and complete that Kisame wonders if this is what being dead is like.

He wants to yell for Itachi, ask what's going on. But he has no voice; where is his mouth, even? For that matter _, where is he?_

 _Itachi, what's going on?!_

The point Kisame assumes is the sky fills in with an eerie red light. A round, crimson moon fades into being. The silence is still total.

(So, is this Tsukuyomi...?)

If Kisame could draw breath, he'd be holding it right now _._

He's in a house now. That same house where Itachi met that horrible old man.

 _There's a man hunched over at the kitchen table, reeking of alcohol and radiating misery. Peering around the corner, a child approaches tentatively, little hands reaching out._

 _A pretty little child with black eyes and pale skin, impossibly tiny and impossibly frail._

 _(Itachi. This boy is Itachi.)_

" _Dad..."_

 _ **CRASH**_

 _Large hands wrap around the boy's skinny neck, Sharingan burning in his wild, bloodshot eyes._

 _Fear floods through Kisame. Fear the likes of which he's never known before. Deep, all-consuming terror that completely overwhelms him. He would vomit if he had any clue where his stomach was._

 _(Itachi's fear...?)_

 _The child whimpers, choking for the smallest bit of air._

" _D-dad..."_

 _The man snaps back to reality, eyes fading back to charcoal as the world comes into focus._

" _Itachi..."_

 _He releases the poor child- Itachi gasps for air, coughing feebly; his throat is already turning purple from his father's hands. This young Itachi's eyes are wide from panic, and glittering with tears._

" _Oh god...I'm so sorry-" The man's speech is slurred so badly his words run into each other._

 _(This fear...this sorrow...these are Itachi's feelings. Somehow, Kisame is receiving Itachi's feelings.)_

 _Itachi's father reaches out to hug Itachi, but the boy squeaks in fear and backs away from him, shaking so badly his teeth are chattering. The man tries again; Itachi scrambles to run away. The man catches up, however, and pulls the boy in close. He holds the petrified little boy, rocking him and mumbling "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, oh god, I'm so sorry" in a steady mantra._

 _Itachi cries along with his father._

The sorrow that rocks his tiny body fills Kisame as well (Kisame might actually cry as well, if he had any idea where his eyes were).

The world goes out of focus, colors and shapes all blurring together. And everything goes black again.

* * *

 _Kisame has a huge knot in what might be his stomach (if he knew where his stomach was). He assumes it's mimicking the knot in Itachi's stomach in the scene unfolding around him._

 _Itachi is eavesdropping on a conversation he shouldn't be listening to. Itachi's father is accompanied by a very beautiful, heavily pregnant woman Kisame assumes is Itachi's mother. They're gathered around a table with a group of others also bearing the Uchiha crest._

" _-We're concerned about whether he'll even be alive long enough to head the clan."_

 _Itachi muffles a whimper in his hands._

" _Don't speak about my son as if he's going to die!" Itachi's father growls through clenched teeth._

" _Believe me, everyone in the clan is praying he doesn't," an older man with graying hair replies gently. "But we can't just pretend it isn't a possibility, Fugaku-sama. He's already come near death so many times, and he's only five years old. It's a reality we may very well have to face a lot sooner than we would like."_

" _And beyond the question of whether he'll live," an ancient woman interjects, in a stern voice, "He's such a frail child. I feel it's unfair to place the weight of leading our clan on poor Itachi's shoulders."_

 _A few nods of agreement from the others._

" _Mikoto-sama," the woman continues, "we understand what a decision like this means. The firstborn hasn't ever been passed over in the history of the clan, after all- but we feel it would be in Itachi's best interest, as well. It doesn't mean you've given up on him living a good life. If anything, it might be good to take that burden away from him."_

" _Chouko-san is right, Mikoto-sama," the old man agrees. "Itachi needs to concentrate on getting well. There's no sense in troubling him with clan politics and upsetting business. He is a very kind child; he may not be suited for the job, anyway."_

" _...How would we explain it to him?" Mikoto whispers, hands clenched tight with anxiety._

" _Itachi is a bright boy," a middle-aged man with a scraggly beard says. "He will understand that it's for the best."_

 _Mikoto bites her lip, wringing her hands much the same way Itachi does when he's nervous but too proud to show it. The ancient woman sighs._

" _At least think about what we've said."_

The world goes out of focus once again.

* * *

Kisame's soul is filled with a bleak hopelessness; the kind that makes him want to gouge his heart out just to feel something else.

" _They're all waiting for me to die."_

 _Mikoto pauses halfway through tucking Itachi into his bed, a horrified look crossing her pretty face._

" _Itachi-"_

 _The boy stares dejectedly at the blankets._

" _They're waiting for me to die- I heard you and father talking to them. They don't think I'll be able to lead the clan. Everyone is just waiting for the baby to come so I can die and they don't have to deal with me anymore."_

" _No, Itachi, they don't want you to die!" Mikoto insists halfheartedly. "They're worried about you, that's all."_

" _...Am I really gonna die?"_

" _No, Itachi! Never think like that!"_

 _Mikoto hugs her child close, valiantly trying not to cry._

" _You musn't ever think like that, Itachi! You're not going to die!"_

" _...At least if I did, you'd have the new baby to replace me."_

(God, this numbness is horrible.)

" _Oh sweetheart, the baby isn't meant to replace you. Please don't talk like that."_

 _Mikoto kisses the child's pallid forehead, stroking his hair with an excess of gentleness in her touch (maybe she's afraid she might break him)._

" _Please sleep, Itachi. You'll feel better in the morning."_

* * *

The next thing Kisame feels is pain. White-hot, stabbing, horrid, overwhelming pain. Were Kisame corporeal, he imagines he might vomit.

The world around him is black once more, but he's surrounded by the rhythmic creaking of a bed frame, punctuated by low, heady grunts and the quick, shaky breathing alongside it.

If Kisame knew where his heart was, it would be sinking.

Now, Kisame is at the foot of a large, ornate bed.

 _Itachi (maybe eleven or twelve now) is naked,pale skin stark against the aubergine bedclothes. He's dwarfed by a man far too old and far too strong for such a small boy. Muffled cries emanate from the plush pillow Itachi has buried his face in._

 _(_ And still, there's pain, pain, _ **pain**_ _)._

 _Itachi feebly claws at the sheets and the headboard, though there's no strength in his arms._

" _Aw, poor thing," the man mocks, growling into the boy's ear. "You can hardly move. I told 'em that was too high a dose for a tiny thing like you. It's only supposed to take the fight outta ya, not make ya completely useless."_

 _Itachi just continues to sob into the pillow. The nausea and the shame keeps rising in an ever-mounting crescendo._

" _Aww, don't hide, little kitten. Your voice is cute."_

 _The man buries his fat, greedy fingers in Itachi's hair, yanking his head upward_.

 _Itachi's dark eyes are glassy, glazed and unfocused, lifeless like the eyes of Sasori's puppets. His breath comes in shallow gasps, face flushed from the humiliation and the agony._

" _No more-" he pleads, though his voice is nothing more than a pitiful whisper._

" _Oh, but we're just getting warmed up, kitten," the disgusting old man purrs, stroking Itachi's hair in a mockery of tenderness._

 _The scene stretches out for an eon or two, and Kisame wishes with all his heart that he could wretch while he watches Itachi be degraded in the most despicable ways._

 _Children...children shouldn't be treated this way. Children shouldn't be forced onto their knees for some slimy, worthless excuse for a human, dragged lower than low._

 _(Nobody deserves this. Nobody.)_

 _When it's finally over, Itachi curls into a miserable little ball, dead eyes staring at the wall in front of him._

 _That man- that horrible, awful, hideous, putrid old man- gets cleaned up and dressed, and leaves Itachi alone in that big bed._

" _I'll sign that stupid treaty for ya. Will that make you feel better?"_

 _Itachi doesn't answer, and the man leaves the room after that._

* * *

" _Shisui, what happened?!"_

 _The panic that swells up threatens to swallow Kisame whole._

 _The handsome young man beside Itachi is the same young man from that photograph. The one who once had been smiling so cheerfully. Only now, the space where his right eye should be is instead a raw, gaping wound._

" _...Bastard took my eye..."_

 _Shisui makes a feeble attempt to stop the gushing blood with his hand, grimacing, but trying to remain calm._

" _I'm sorry- I didn't know Danzo would try-"_

" _It isn't your fault. I figured the old fuck would try it sooner or later. I just didn't expect it to be now..."_

 _Itachi helps Shisui lean against a gnarled, ancient tree._

" _...What now?" he asks._

 _(That horrible hopelessness again...)_

" _There's nothing much left that can be done," Shisui admits, still clutching at the bloody chasm where his eye used to rest. "No matter what we do- he's gonna come after the other eye. And you know what he's planned for the rest of us."_

" _But...what are we gonna do?"_

 _For a moment, the only sound is the rushing of the river hundreds of feet below them._

 _Then, out of nowhere, Shisui reaches up and pulls out his other eye, as though it didn't hurt at all._

" _What are you-?!"_

" _If you have it, he can't get it," Shisui says, forcing the horrified younger boy to take the severed eyeball. "He can't have them both, Itachi."_

" _But Shisui, what about-"_

 _Shisui cradles Itachi's face in his hands, and claims Itachi's mouth in a deep, voracious kiss, silencing the rest of the question. He kisses Itachi as though that kiss alone could make everything right. It lasts a long time (because Shisui is afraid, just a little bit)._

 _When the kiss finally breaks, a thin strand of blood stretches between their mouths._

 _"I'm sorry, Itachi," Shisui murmurs, with a weak smile. "But this is it for me."_

" _Shisui, what are you saying?!"_

 _Shisui doesn't answer._

" _Keep my eye safe. Keep Sasuke safe. Take care of yourself, okay?"_

Panic.

 _Itachi's eyes go wide._

" _You can't!"_

" _I have to, Itachi. If I don't they're just gonna keep coming after me. I can't do anything to make them stop, but I can give you the power to protect yourself."_

 _Shisui hobbles toward the edge of the cliff that leads down, down, down into the inky depths of the river. Itachi grabs the hem of his shirt, panic written into every fiber of his being._

" _No, Shisui, you can't!" He says again, his voice shrill. I need you! What am I supposed to do without you?!"_

" _What you have to do, Itachi," Shisui answers._

" _Shisui-"_

 _The elder boy takes Itachi's free hand in both of his._

" _I wish I could say everything's gonna be okay. But it's not. I'm sorry, Itachi. Things are gonna be really hard for you, and I can't be there to help you anymore. Please forgive me."_

 _Itachi whimpers. Shisui swallows the mournful sound in one final kiss._

" _I love you, Itachi," he murmurs, breath warm against Itachi's mouth. "I love you so much. I love you...God, I love you..."_

 _He releases Itachi's hand, then takes a step backward._

The cold that seizes Kisame is written in Itachi's petrified face.

" _Shisui!"_

 _He fumbles, desperate to stop his lover. His fingers brush against Shisui's, but that's the best he can do._

 _Shisui falls endlessly through the darkness, before plunging into the rushing depths of the river with a distant splash._

 _For the longest time, Itachi doesn't breathe. As if in a trance, he creates a hand sign, and the eye of his lover disappears._

(This feeling right now...what is it?)

 _Itachi's knees hit the ground. He buries his face in his hands._

 _Then-_

 _A howl of grief rips out of Itachi's throat, heart-wrenching and painful to hear._

(With that cry, Kisame finally understands that horrible feeling called 'despair.')

 _The howl of grief turns into a scream of pain halfway through. Crimson tears pour from his eyes, the Mangekyou Sharingan bursting to life within them._

* * *

 _That awful feeling called 'despair' hangs heavy in the air. Itachi's hands are shaking, barely keeping hold of his sword. His parents are seated in front of him, backs turned, calmly waiting for their deaths._

" _You've made your decision," Fugaku says, with no trace of anger or fear in his voice. "So don't hesitate."_

" _Father..."_

" _Just promise you'll look after Sasuke. Make sure he doesn't fall into our clan's cursed destiny."_

" _...I will," Itachi replies, his voice far less steady than his father's._

" _Please don't be sad, Itachi," Mikoto implores. "We understand. We still love you. We're going to be okay."_

 _Itachi chokes on a sob, and raises his sword to do what has to be done._

* * *

Before his blade falls, however, Kisame is yanked unceremoniously back into his body. His muscles are weak, and his limbs feel like jelly.

The sun is still at the exact point on the bed as it was when he had left. The leaf that had fallen off the cherry tree outside is still falling.

Though that journey felt like an eternity, it must've been less than a second.

Itachi's eyes are black once more, wide in horror at the realization of what he's done. His hands are still gripping tightly onto him, trembling and uncertain.

"Kisame...I-"

"...Those were...your memories, right?" Kisame asks (his voice is weak and hoarse).

"I didn't mean to-"

Kisame hushes him.

"No...I-it's alright, Itachi-san. I understand."

He wraps unsteady arms around Itachi's fevered body, cradling him as gently as if Itachi were a precious porcelain doll. He rocks Itachi back and forth- as much to calm himself as it was his partner.

"For once, I really understand."

They hear a small tapping on the bedroom door. Reluctantly, Kisame gets up to answer it (his legs are wobbly and weaker than he's used to).

Tora has a brown paper bag in her teeth; she motions for Kisame to take it.

"I picked up some medicine," she says, once her mouth is free.

"Oh. Thanks."

Tora dashes into the room an hops up on the bed, where Itachi is cuddling with his ratty old blanket. Kisame sets the bag on the nightstand and starts reading the directions on the bottles.

"Are you feeling any better?" She asks, rubbing her head against his arm.

"...I'll be alright," Itachi says, scratching idly behind her ears. "Please don't worry."

"It's my job to worry about you," Tora reminds him.

"Right, right."

Kisame hands Itachi the medication and a glass of water. Itachi takes it without a word. Tora purrs softly and curls up in Itachi's lap and falls fast asleep.

"Itachi-san."

Itachi doesn't look up.

"Itachi-san, it's alright. I'm not upset it happened."

The confused look on Itachi's face is adorable.

"You can't tell me about what all went on back then," Kisame says, sitting on the edge of the bed carefully, so as not to wake Tora. "So I haven't been able to understand. I don't know if you know what exactly happened just now- I saw it. No- 'saw' isn't the right word."

Awkward doesn't begin to describe Kisame's demeanor right now. He reminds Itachi of a big dog that isn't sure what to do with itself.

"I _felt_ everything in there, Itachi-san. I felt all of it. And- I don't know how you can stand it."

Itachi frowns. His right hand rests on Tora's soft fur, the left clutching at his tattered childhood blanket. His breath rattles hoarsely in his skinny chest.

"But-I get it now, Itachi-san. I know I didn't see the half of it, but...I get it."

More silence. Itachi clumsily seeks out Kisame's hand, lips pressed into a thin line. Kisame gives his hand a squeeze to reassure him.

"Hey, don't make that face. I'm okay, Itachi-san."

"And...you still want to be with me, after seeing-"

"The past is the past, Itachi-san," Kisame interrupts. "If I can have you for today and for tomorrow, that's all I care about."

"What if there aren't many tomorrows left between us? Are you okay with that, as well?"

"Itachi-san, please don't speak like you're going to die."

Desperate to diffuse the tension in the air, Kisame plants a kiss on Itachi's cheek.

"Oh I _knew_ it!"

His heart leaps into his throat.

The little calico cat wears a smug expression.

"Oh, Kuro owes me so much money! I _told_ him you were Ita-chan's boyfriend!"

Itachi's cheeks burn bright pink, and Tora rouses from her brief slumber.

"Goodness, do you have to be so loud?" She scolds.

"Ah, sorry Tora-sama," the calico says (though she doesn't mean it) before dashing off to gloat about her victory.

"Children," Tora grumbles, stretching out and letting out a great yawn. "They're noisy creatures, aren't they?"

She hops off the bed.

"I'm making tekkadon for lunch today, Ita-chan. Is that alright?"

Were Kisame not still weak from his little sojourn into Itachi's head, he'd leap for joy at the prospect of decent seafood (Amegakure is a village with many admirable qualities- good fish was not one of them).

"Yes, that's fine," Itachi answers, with a smile that's more of a grimace.

The cat departs, and they're once again alone in the cramped bedroom.

" _What if there aren't many tomorrows left between us? Are you okay with that, as well?"_

Kisame banishes those words from his mind. He kisses Itachi once more, and holds him until the medication takes effect and his fever begins to fade.

In truth...no. Kisame isn't okay with that thought. He doesn't want to think about Itachi dying soon. Or at all, really. He doesn't want to think about waking one morning without Itachi laying beside him, or already up and about doing menial chores to keep his hands busy. He didn't ever think much about that soft smile and "good morning" he'd grown used to in the past few months, until he pondered the prospect of the last "good morning" ever.

All the tomorrows left in the world wouldn't ever be enough.


End file.
